Letting Go of the Need to Control

This week at The Gathering Place, a church in Palm Beach Gardens, I shared a message about surrender—not the kind that feels passive or weak, but the kind that makes room for freedom, peace, and transformation.

I’ll be honest with you—control is something I’ve wrestled with most of my life. And not in an obvious, overbearing way. More like a quiet, persistent need to plan, manage, anticipate… fix. I’ve often treated God like a consultant rather than a King. I’d ask for His help, sure—but only after I’d exhausted my own options.

But this week, I was reminded of a better way.

We looked at Romans 12, where Paul urges us to “present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.” That phrase—living sacrifice—hit me in a new way. Because it implies a daily choice. Not a one-time moment of surrender, but a lifestyle of releasing control and trusting God’s direction.

And let’s be real: that’s not easy.

It’s uncomfortable to let go of the illusion that I know best. It’s humbling to admit that my striving won’t save me. But every time I loosen my grip and offer God my life—my real, messy, complicated life—He meets me with grace.

Here’s what I’ve been learning (and maybe it resonates with you too):

• You can’t be transformed if you’re always in control.
  Transformation starts with surrender. It begins when I stop asking, “How can I make this work?” and start asking, “God, what do You want to do through this?”
• Peace isn’t found in figuring everything out.
  It’s found in trusting the One who already has.
• God’s mercy is the foundation, not the reward.
  Paul doesn’t say, “Surrender so you’ll receive mercy.” He says, “Because of God’s mercy… surrender.” It’s a response to grace, not a payment for it.

There’s freedom in that.

At The Gathering Place, we’re a community that doesn’t pretend to have it all together. We’re learning—together—how to live lives that are shaped more by surrender than by self-reliance. And it’s changing us.

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